Missing You
by Luluannabell
Summary: One-Shot. Suigetsu has no clue where Karin went, but he misses her. T for language. [[For some reason recently this got another chapter, oops.]]
1. Suigetsu

Something is missing. Something, something is missing.

Suigetsu realizes that every night, every day, every second his mind isn't occupied with anything else, and sometimes, when it should be.

He misses her. A lot.

It was like a pull on his heart, like she had grasped it the last time they met and still held onto it now, even though she was nowhere near.

He would do anything to see Karin again.

Sometimes he kissed his pillow. Imagined kissing her.

They weren't even anything. Hardly even friends.

His feelings were obvious, surely, there was no way she didn't know about them already. So. The lack of any actions on her part only meant she didn't feel anything towards him.

He isn't sure he's okay with that.

But there was no way he could force her into anything. He respected her too much.

So he taunted, he kept his flirts to a minimum, he acted like nothing was wrong, he acted like he didn't want to touch her when she was there.

And there was the problem: _She wasn't there._

Hell if he knew where she'd gone. She sure as hell hadn't told him anything. He just knew that she wasn't where she should be, the laboratory, her bedroom, the lavatory, the building. She was just gone, and he didn't know where to. Suigetsu hadn't seen her in a month already, and it was driving him crazy.

Something is missing, he tells himself and tries not to think of her. Tries not to think of taking her hair in his hand and giving it a light kiss, tries not to imagine feathering his lips over her neck and further down, tries not to imagine what _it_ would be like, because it wouldn't happen and she wasn't even there.

He misses her so bad.

His heart was about to burst, that's how bad it was, not mentioning the fact that he had quite possibly cried last night when he had thought he'd seen a flash of her red hair and it had turned out to be a _squirrel_.

He had it bad, his heart whispered, and he knew it was true. He had it _bad_ , he told himself in the quiet of the night, and let himself fall into spiraling thoughts about her. She was hung up on _that guy_ , somewhere in her heart, no matter the face she put on. That guy, the guy who had married, whose kid _she had helped birth_. It was insane, but he could still see it in her eyes. She had no hope for a relationship with him, he knew that. But she still loved, with all her soul and heart, with all she had to give.

He wished he could be on the receiving end of that all-encompassing love she had.

He's missing her. Like she's an integral piece of his existence, and he's not whole without her.

The grip on his heart turns tighter, and it took all he had not to keel over. To fall to his knees. The pain was unbearable.

He wondered, maybe, maybe this was how she felt whenever she thought about Sasuke.

He thought, he should tell her. Take a chance.

But what chance would that be? He would throw all of their tentative friendship overboard, and _that_ wasn't what he wanted. That pull on his heart would just grow stronger, until it was pulled completely out of his body.

Suigetsu didn't think she knew exactly what she was doing to him.

Oh, he misses her.

Where was she?

He should tell her. Make himself out to be an idiot, maybe, but when wasn't he an idiot? She had punched him in the head more than once for all of his comments.

He'll tell her, he decides then.

If she ever returns.

He also decides to grab her into a hug once she's back. Tell her he's missed her. Tell her he loves her.

Because he felt calm around her – calm, collected, more sane than he ever was when he was on his own. That's why he loved her. She wouldn't be able to tell, would she? She'd never really given him the light of day, and a part of his heart clenches at the thought. Karin wouldn't know that he is completely incapable of anything when she wasn't there, she wouldn't know how much he misses her when she's gone, she wouldn't-

"You look like you're thinking hard. Can't be good for that peanut-sized brain of yours."

Speak of the devil.

Karin was leaning calmly against a just table behind him, her arms crossed in front of her chest, a sparkle in her eyes. Her eyebrows slowly pulled together, and her nonchalant smile turned into a frown when she inspected his face. Suigetsu wasn't able to keep his disapproving glance from his face when she just stood there like that after being away for a month.

"Where the fuck where you these last few weeks?"

"What crawled into your panties?"

"Oh, excuse me for caring. You just up and go without a word and I'm- ugh, whatever. I got shit to do."

Suigetsu pushed past her. There was no work to be done, truthfully, but Karin ran up to him and they went through the hallways together, keeping the pace quick.

"Look, I had things to do. I didn't think you'd take it so badly."

"Course you didn't."

"Suigetsu, stop acting like a five-year-old. It's not like I got hurt or anything."

Angry, Suigetsu stopped and turned to her. Karin was startled at the sudden stop, but gathered herself quickly. Like she always would.

"I wasn't worried about you."

She put her hands on her hips and sneered up at him.

"What _is_ your problem then? Why are you so pissed at me?"

He closed his eyes and calmed himself.

"I'm pissed off at myself. Because, fuck, it shouldn't feel like I'm complete when you return."

When he opened his eyes he was met with hers, full of confusion, worry. Her lips were pulled into a thin line, and he absently noted her fidgeting with her hands like a schoolgirl about to get scolded, though he was the one asking for an ass-kicking with his next, gentle words.

"I missed you a lot, Karin."


	2. Karin

A/N: HA AND I SAID THIS ONE SHOT WAS OVER

Here we are, months later.

* * *

There were some things she hadn't expected when she finally returned. She hadn't expected Suigetsu to be so pissed at her return (the poor bastard must've been lonely without her), she hadn't expected him to stomp off with the excuse of work (he had nothing to do, that much was clear), and she certainly hadn't expected him to shower her with his feelings in the process.

" _Excuse me for caring."_

" _It shouldn't feel like I'm complete when you return."_

" _I missed you a lot, Karin."_

If that wasn't a confession, she didn't know what was.

She couldn't answer immediately, she had to make sure she wasn't misunderstanding anything after all, and he took her pause quite heavily. That is to say, Suigetsu looked _heartbroken_. Absolutely heartbroken. She had never expected to see him looking like that, for as long as she knew him. Especially not concerning her.

"Don't act so surprised, alright? I know you knew. Everyone knew. It's not some grand secret finally revealed."

Karin hadn't expected him to say he felt _complete_ with her. How sappy was that? She knew what he meant, because she had felt it as well while she was gone, the weird tingly feeling of _absence_ , as if he was some essential part of her being and living apart from him, even for just a month, was the worst thing that could happen to her.

But _damn_ was it a sappy thing to say.

Suigetsu forced himself to smile, and it was the worst smile she'd ever seen on him.

"Come on. Say something. Hit me in the face. Do something, Karin. I deserve it. I'm delusional. I mean, I have to be, with the things I think of sometimes. I'll… I can try to recount how many times I thought about how it would be if we were – you know. It'll be a high number. Will that make you get it over with, and punch me in the face?"

Karin nervously grasped her hands behind her back.

 _Nervous_. She had never expected to be _nervous_ around Suigetsu, of all people.

Frowning, he shied away. _Saddened_ , he physically took a step back and looked away from her. Karin couldn't make herself speak. The atmosphere was too thick, too dark, to allow her to tell the truth.

"I know a lost cause when I see one. No matter what I did, this wouldn't have ended well. But hey, now you know not to touch me with a ten-foot-pole, so, good for you, I guess. I know you're still hung up on him, so, hey, maybe this will make it easier for me to give up on you?"

"You're an idiot."

Suigetsu scowled in confusion.

"Huh?"

Her heart should make better decisions, because falling in love with that moron was one of the worst things it could have done to her.

"I'm not hung up on Sasuke anymore. He's important to me, sure, but no more than you or Juugo. Less than you."

"What are you-"

The absolute _worst_ thing Karin's heart could have done to her was let her fall in love with such an idiot.

With a grit of her teeth and enough determination to finally break free from this horrible, nervous _whatever_ between them, Karin stomped on his foot. It melted apart, so he jumped back with an annoyed look, balancing until his foot reformed. She poked him in the chest once, strong enough to cause him to flinch backwards a bit again, his annoyance seemingly tripling.

This was a much better atmosphere than that nervous crackle they'd had before.

"Shut up! I couldn't say goodbye before I went, it was kind of a surprise for me too. I wouldn't normally go without telling you, and you know that. You know that, because you know _me_ , and you _know_ me because we talk so much in our free time that it's insane. We do so much together, and I don't know how you can still think I'm hung up on Sasuke. He's happily married with a kid! Don't you think that was an absolue turn-off for me?"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes, making sure she saw it, and muttered loud enough for her to hear every word.

"Like that would stop you."

Karin growled.

"I fucking said I wanted to tell you goodbye, Sui. I felt bad about that for _days_ , because fuck, I would have liked to tell you I was going places as well! Would you start reading the situation properly?"

He shot a glare her way and crossed his arms. For some reason, she found herself in the same stance, glaring back at him.

"You're an _idiot_."

"Fuck you."

For a moment, they both stood there, staring at each other in silence. Sighing, Karin loosened her stance, and saw him do it as well. He was thinking, so the frown was still in place, but he didn't look as defensive anymore. Slowly, she shifted towards him. So close, she could feel his breath ghosting over her head. Her hand splayed gently on his chest. Suigetsu didn't flinch as she slowly painted a path towards his arm, but the muscle movement gave him away. She could feel his heart beat fast, and a look in his face showed her he had understood. Now, now he knew. He knew she felt like him.

"I'm glad I'm back."

There was no way she could ever forget that look.

His hands ghosted over her hips, pulling her close, his eyes glazed over her face, memorizing every aspect, his presence growing ever so much more as he bent down to her, thinning any space left between their features. He was caught on her lips the same way she was set afloat, softly suspended just beneath the surface by his half-lidded eyes, giving her a glance he'd never let on his face before.

"Me too."

Breath tickled her lips as she whispered silently, nearly touching his _too soon_. She wanted to stay in that moment, the moment before, full of anticipation, soft breaths. She wanted to feel it forever, the gentle beating of two hearts echoing side by side, eyes closed.

"I missed you too."

She hadn't expected to kiss Suigetsu when she returned.


End file.
